Is my child overscheduled?

Kids often have packed schedules. Between homework, social activities and extracurriculars, it can be hard to find a moment to rest. While activities can be great for kids, having too much to do and not enough downtime can have a negative impact on a child’s mental health.

Hillary Kimbley, Ph.D., ABPP, Pediatric Psychologist at Children's Health^SM and Assistant Professor at UT Southwestern, shares tips for how to know if your child is overscheduled and how to balance activities and downtime for kids.

Related podcast
Learn more about how to avoid burning out a child with too many activities by listening to the Children's Health Checkup podcast.

Why are so many kids overscheduled?

Many families have good intentions when packing their child’s schedule. They often believe that exposing children to a wide range of activities will help develop their talents, give them a competitive edge and lead to future success.

“Social and cultural pressures play a role,” Dr. Kimbley says.

These ideas can lead parents to fill every moment with structured activities, which can unintentionally overwhelm a child.

“Parents mean well,” Dr. Kimbley says. “But even good things, if not provided in the right doses or in the right way, can turn into something that may not be as beneficial.”

Downsides of overscheduling kids

When a young child’s schedule is packed with activities, it often leaves little time for "unstructured" play or activities. This means time when a child is free to choose their own activities without specific steps or instructions from an adult.

“Unstructured play helps a child’s cognitive and social development,” Dr. Kimbley says. “So when a younger child doesn’t get this unstructured time, it can impact their creativity, imagination, problem solving and overall independence.”

When older kids are overscheduled, it can increase their stress levels, lower their academic performance and negatively impact their mental health and sense of autonomy.

Overscheduling can also:

• Activate the stress response, which can lead to anxiety and difficulty managing emotions.

• Leave kids and teens with less time to relax and sleep, which may lead to physical and emotional challenges such as poor mood, irritability and a weakened immune system.

• Weaken family bonds.

• Prevent kids and teens from developing deeper friendships.

Signs of overscheduled children

Overscheduling and burnout might look a little different in every child. In general, children feeling overscheduled, overwhelmed and/or burnt out might:

• Be more irritable than usual

• Experience mood swings

• Feel anxious

• Get lower-than-usual grades or have difficulties in school

• Lose interest in activities they used to enjoy

• Have physical symptoms like headaches, stomachaches or trouble sleeping

Benefits of boredom and downtime for kids

It’s common to believe boredom is bad and many parents feel a responsibility to constantly entertain their kids. But boredom can actually be very good for a child’s development. Boredom helps kids:

• Develop creativity and imagination

• Build independence and problem-solving skills

• Learn to regulate their emotions

• Tolerate frustration and manage the discomfort of being bored

• Rest and recharge their brain, which can improve their ability to focus and pay attention

How much downtime do kids need?

There’s no one-size-fits-all amount of downtime that every child needs, but balance is key. Kids and teens benefit from having time in their day that isn’t structured or scheduled – time to relax, unwind and just be themselves. This free time is just as important as school, sleep and extracurricular activities.

Every family’s schedule looks different, but a healthy routine should include space for rest, connection with others, and unstructured play or relaxation. It’s helpful to ensure there are at least a few days a week without back-to-back obligations like practices, lessons or appointments. Downtime can help kids recharge emotionally and physically, supporting their mood, mental health and overall well-being.

What should downtime look like?

Downtime should be unstructured and relaxing – a break from obligations, screens and schedules. It can include quiet, creative or playful activities that let kids unwind and recharge on their own terms. Examples include:

• Reading

• Journaling

• Drawing

• Arts and crafts

• Playing with toys like LEGOs

• Listening to or making music

• Spending time outdoors riding bikes or going for a walk

The key is that downtime isn’t directed by adults or tied to specific goals. It’s time for kids to explore, relax or play freely. While screen time can be fun and even relaxing, it’s considered a separate category and may still need to be scheduled or limited. True downtime gives kids a chance to reset their minds and bodies in a low-pressure way.

Tips for preventing burnout in kids

Families can add downtime to their child’s schedule and help prevent burnout by:

• Building downtime into your child’s schedule. This could mean scheduling a weekly activity-free evening or setting aside time each day for free time or relaxed family time.

• Regularly checking in with your child. Asking how they are feeling, and if they are enjoying their activities or feeling overwhelmed can help parents know how their child is doing and adjust accordingly.

• Modeling balance in your own life. Make sure your child sees you resting too.

• Talking to children about the importance of rest, downtime and self-care. Talk about rest as a positive activity that helps our brains and bodies recharge, not a sign of being lazy.

“Parents can help shape how their child perceives rest,” Dr. Kimbley says.

It can be hard to remember that being busy isn’t always better and that balance is essential for all of us.

“To have time for self-care without pressure, without competitiveness, without busyness, is essential to our overall well-being,” she says. “It should never be go, go, go.”

Learn more

If your child is struggling to find more balance in their life, Children's Health provides comprehensive mental health support for kids of all ages. Learn more about our Pediatric Psychiatry and Psychology Programs.

You can also access emotional care and support from the comfort of your home with Virtual Visit Behavioral Health. With a behavioral health care appointment, you can speak to a board-certified psychiatrist or licensed therapist using video technology. Learn more about Virtual Visit Behavioral Health.